Q: Krishna ma'am I am a 16 year old girl. I read your answers on love.
So I want to know from you what qualities we should look for while falling in love. Can you please teach love to me? I want to fall in love with a person who you say is right for girls to fall in love with!
Krishna: :) Teach love? Can anyone teach love? If I teach love to you, do you follow all that I taught when you "want to fall in love?"
Do you have that choice? Very few people have that choice!
Most people don't even know that they are falling in love until they realize a strange feeling and face the peculiar situation. Craziest things happen then.
Some realize they have fallen for an opposite pole! Some realize the person they are in love with has only half the qualities they like. Some realize their beloved has none of the qualities they want. But still they are in love with such a person strangely!
This love is a strange thing.
Each person has his or her personal choices. Of course Some don't have any.
Now why do you want to fall in love with a person of my choice of qualities? Don't you have your own preferences? How can you love and live with a person of my choice of qualities? What if the type of person I say is right doesn't suit your mentality?
Okay, I know you are asking a general question. But the word general has a wide range of qualities that are good. Some think education, some money, some power, some looks, some goodness , some ....
In general 'love experts' (I am not one) say the person who has these qualities makes any woman's life happy:
Intellectual, well educated, "critical thinker", confident and mentally very strong person, thorough gentleman, a person with integrity, kind, a person who doesn't cheat, takes responsibility for everything he does, patient, caring and supportive, sensitive to a woman's needs, and emotionally mature.
The one who treats his partner as equal in all respects, the one who respects women.
Even if he disagrees with you, he tries to listen, consider your view and tries to understand and cooperate with you. Even if he gets angry, controls himself and comes and talks with you first - in a way the one who conquered his ego, the one who totally loves you and cares for you and no matter what never leaves you.
Now don't ask me whether I agree with this. Because you will rarely find a man with all these qualities!
And if you don't find a man with all these qualities what will you do? If you find such a person, what if he is not interested in you?
How will you find out whether a man has all these qualities before falling in love? A man tries to impress you with the best pretension if he wants you to fall in love with him!
I can find out, but can a sixteen year old do this? Tall order!
So fall in love with a person who has most of the above qualities after a thorough analysis, if you really want to be happy. That is what experts say.
Or just be happy with whoever you fall in love with.
But I am not going to tell you what type of a person I think will be great.
Q: ( This is in Telugu) Oka manishini correct ga ardham chesukovalante , atanini/aamenu preminchala?
Krishna: "Ninnu correct ga ardham chesukovalante ninnu preminchali"
Inko angle lo cheppana? Blind ga Premiste bias ki lonautaru. Ala lonaute vere angles lo chudaleru. Anni adbhutam ga kanipistayi aa manishilo. Nijam emitante lopalu leni manushulu vundaru. Aa lopalu kappipuchi anta adbutham ga chupinchede prema. Bhrama pettede prema. Kabatti preminche variki, neutral ga chusevariki eppudu theda vuntundi. Aite evaridi nijamaina estimation oka manishi gurinchi? Preminche varida, neutral ga chusevarida? Nijam cheppandi. Perceptions gurinchi matladalante Ph.D cheyyali andulo.
(Translation)
Q: If you want to understand a person correctly, do you have to really love him/her?
Krishna: Shall I show this from a different perspective?
If you love a person blindly, you become biased towards that person. If you get biased, you cannot see that person in any other angle except the love angle. Every thing/experience about/with that person will become wonderful and excellent ( you feel in that way).
But the truth is you won't find anybody without inadequacies.
Love covers all those inadequacies and shows them in an excellent manner. You get into an illusion.
Love, very often, screws up your mind and thought process.
Therefore, there will always be a difference between the thinking of a neutral person who sees a person and his behaviour and that of a human being who loves that person.
But whose estimation is correct about that person? The person who loves him/her or the neutral person? Tell me the truth.
If you want to talk about perceptions you have to do Ph.Ds. in the subject!
No, is the answer to the Q. If you want to understand a person correctly, you have to do critical thinking!
Neither love nor hatred will give correct estimation about anything or anybody!