General Qs and my replies - Part28

Q: How can I give answers like you do?

Krishna: Very easy! Gain tremendous knowledge in a scientific way. Think critically. Get clarity on everything . Be empathetic.  Not easy? :) 

Q; Daily I dream of becoming a scientist like you. How can I realize my dream?

Krishna: Stop dreaming about it and start working. 

Q: Our culture says, 'respect elders'. But sometimes I find it difficult to do so. Why?

Krishna: Culture is a way in which human beings represent their lives to themselves in symbolic systems. Culture includes the concepts, habits, skills, art, institutions, instruments and so on of a given people in a period of time. Culture is a composite of different aspects: rituals, habits, skills, art and way of life. When originated in ancient times it denoted primitive thinking.  This can be good, but they can also include elements of evil.

'Culture' is also base for evils like Sati, child marriages, genital mutilation, superstitions, and several other things. How can we respect such evils?

Recently a person from Africa (1)complained about his culture. It seems many tribes and cultures in East Africa practise the “last funeral rite” ceremony during which people construct small tents where adults sleep. These adults then have to “replace” the deceased through the act of “sex” in the small huts. To me, as a Christian, that is practising fornication and adultery, which violate the Decalogue.

Some initiation ceremonies can be problematic, too. Initiation rites witness transformation of a boy into a man and a girl into a woman. These may include circumcision; what might be called genital mutilation.

In some tribes, such as the Sebei and Gisu in Uganda, the circumcision ceremony is followed by some cleansing rituals that involve “sex with a virgin girl”. These initiations are also followed by trial marriages to taste virility/virginity and fertility; these do not conform to the Christian teaching.

In addition, in our cultures, witchcraft is in fact more sacrificing to evil spirits and to the gods. These are in contradiction to the first commandment.

In all cultures, the evils are caused by selfish wants and needs, including witchcraft and fornication. Therefore we may ask: is it culture that is evil or do we, the owners of culture, attribute evil to culture?

One of my friend's husband's  family members are very orthodox. According to them, my friend, as a daughter-in-law and youngest member of the family,  should eat last after feeding everybody. 'It is respecting the elders according to our culture', they say. But my friend suffers from migraine and gets it if she doesn't eat on time.  One day after a long wait for food and unbearable migraine pain, she ate her meals along with other family members. Then her father-in-law scolded her before everybody like anything. I tried to explain to him the situation but he didn't listen to me. He thought my friend and I didn't respect our culture. Hmmm!

Yes, we don't respect such a culture and elders who refuse to understand others' health problems and difficulties. There isn't anything wrong with it. 

Respect should be earned. Had my friend's father-in-law understood the helplessness of my friend and cooperated, I would have given him respect.  Although I greet him with a namaste every time I meet him, neither he nor I am comfortable in each others' presence.

If culture causes you discomfort, and elders' 'orders' make things difficult for you,  you don't feel like respecting them. That is normal human nature. Don't worry too much about it.

Q: A person I know ill-treats me because he became suddenly rich and thinks as I belong to low economic status, I am 'cheap'. He very often reminds me of my status and doesn't leave a single opportunity to belittle me.  I need his help. That is why I am putting up with his harassment. But how can I make him realize his mistakes? 

Krishna: Why can't we get rid of the thought "I need his help"? Most often we delude ourselves with this type of thinking. Just get rid of this dependence and you will see magical things happening before your eyes. 

You will become strong and start helping yourself by finding other ways and means to achieve what you want. 

Your dependence on this person is making him act in an arrogant way. Just make him realize you don't need him anymore, he would understand  how insignificant he is. 

Q: One of my senior colleagues has been harassing me for the past few months. How can I deal with him without  jeopardising my career?