Krishna:   I recently read in one of the news papers that even clinical phycologists are facing stress now. So even the experts are unable to cope with the situation. Where has all their knowledge and training gone? Is it the right knowledge? If it is, why is it faltering? :)

Does pretending reality doesn't exist and escaping into an unrealistic world make you and your children strong? Or taking the bull by the horns makes you strong?

Available evidence suggests that the virus is predominantly transmitted between people through respiratory droplets and close contact, but there are also examples of transmission between humans and animals. Several animals that have been in contact with infected humans, such as minks, dogs, domestic cats, lions and tigers, have tested positive for SARS-CoV-2.

All available evidence for COVID-19 suggests that SARS-CoV-2 has a zoonotic source. So we cannot completely eradicate it.

What you can do is control it substantially. That ‘s all!

We should accept this reality.

I know some people can cope with tough times while others can't. Making the second type  like the first ones is very vital for their own survival. When 'Survival of the fittest' rule is followed by nature,  making everyone tough is the only way out. 

So how can we achive this? 

Why do some people seem to be better able to cope in these troubling times than others? While everyone’s situation is different, it is true that people with resilience tend to have a higher tolerance for the emotional distress generated by hard times. The more resilient you are, the better you’re able to tolerate the feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness that accompany trauma and adversity—and find a way to rebound from setbacks. We all go through bad times, we all experience disappointment, loss, and change, and we all feel sad, anxious, and stressed at various times in our lives. But building resilience can help you  maintain a correct outlook, face an uncertain future with less fear, and get through even the darkest days.

How do we build resilience? 

Unless you’ve faced adversity in your life before, it’s unlikely you’ve had the need or opportunity to develop resilience. Drawing on past experiences can help you cope with the challenges you’re facing today. Even if you’ve struggled to cope with adversity in the past, you may at least be able to recognize some of the ways of coping that DON’T help, such as trying to numb your feelings with drugs or alcohol.

While it’s often difficult to imagine anything good coming out of traumatic experiences, building resilience can help you find any positives in the difficulties you’ve faced. Surviving hardships can teach you important things about yourself and the world around you, strengthen your resolve, deepen your empathy, and in time enable you to evolve and grow as a human being. 

There are a few steps to follow to cope with a tough situation.

The first one is acceptance. While we all react to stressful events in different ways, many of us try to protect ourselves by refusing to accept the truth of what’s happening. After all, by denying that you’re even experiencing a crisis, you can kid yourself, try to be positive like some advice, and hope that the crisis can melt away on its own if you stay positive. 

Someone recently sent me this message: Problems and difficulties are like red lights at traffic junctions. If you wait for a few seconds, they turn to green lights! 

Do they really? NO!

Expecting the difficulties to go away on their own, or in a very short period of time is kidding yourself! It won't help you in anyway.

Staying in denial will prevent you from adapting to your new circumstances, stop you from seeking solutions or taking action, and stifle the healing process. So you have to accept the situation as it is. 

Then try to change things that are in your hands . Give emotional support to others who need it. 

Accept both your feelings as well as those of people around you. If people try to supress their feelings, they will undergo tremendous stress. Talk to people who are under stress and facing tough situations. Try to understand them, analyse them and help them resolve them. 

Try to avoid people who make you feel very bad but don't avoid people who are trying to talk some sense into you like your husband.

Increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. Focusing on four core components—connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning—can empower you to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences.

Living through tough times can be both mentally and physically draining. Constantly being in a heightened state of stress can lead to serious health problems, impact your immune and digestive systems, increase your risk of heart attack and stroke, and lead to burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion.

But all stress is not bad,  some of it is good too. In fact, stress can help you accomplish tasks more efficiently. It can even boost memory. Stress is also a vital warning system, producing the fight-or-flight response. When the brain perceives some kind of stress, it starts flooding the body with chemicals like epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. sometimes being stressed-out motivates you to focus on your work, yet at other times, you feel incredibly overwhelmed and can’t concentrate on anything. While stress affects everyone in different ways, there are two major types of stress: stress that’s beneficial and motivating — good stress — and stress that causes anxiety and even health problems — bad stress.

According to experts, stress is a burst of energy that basically advises you on what to do. In small doses, stress has many advantages. For instance, stress can help you meet daily challenges and motivates you to reach your goals. In fact, stress can help you accomplish tasks more efficiently. It can even boost memory.

Stress is also a vital warning system, producing the fight-or-flight response. When the brain perceives some kind of stress, it starts flooding the body with chemicals like epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. This creates a variety of reactions such as an increase in blood pressure and heart rate. Plus, the senses suddenly have a laser-like focus so you can avoid physically stressful situations — such as jumping away from a moving car — and be safe.

In addition, there are various health benefits with a little bit of stress. Researchers think that some stress can help to fortify the immune system. For instance, stress can improve how your heart works and protect your body from infection. In one study, individuals who experienced moderate levels of stress before surgery were able to recover faster than individuals who had low or high levels.

When stress is key for survival, too much stress can be detrimental. Emotional stress that stays around for weeks or months can weaken the immune system and cause high blood pressure, fatigue, depression, anxiety and even heart disease. In particular, too much epinephrine can be harmful to your heart. It can change the arteries and how their cells are able to regenerate.

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but you can improve the way you respond to stress and avoid or change some of the situations that create negative stress.

Since the body and mind are so closely linked, investing in self-care is an important part of building resilience and getting through times of great stress. When your body feels strong and healthy so, too, will your mind.

so how to cope with bad stress? 

Do things that make you and your children happy like talking to them and playing with them.

Get enough exercise. When you’re dealing with chronic stress, you likely carry it somewhere in your body. Maybe your muscles are tense, you have back or neck pain, frequent headaches, insomnia, heartburn, or an upset stomach? Getting regular exercise not only releases powerful endorphins in the brain to improve your mood, but it can also help to ease tension in the body and counteract the physical symptoms of stress.

Practice a “mind and body” relaxation technique.Try meditation and deep breathing and body awareness to help you relieve stress and bring your nervous system back into balance.

Improve your sleep.  Often, improving your daytime habits and taking the time to relax and unwind before bed can help you sleep better at night.

Eat well. There are no specific foods that can help build resilience and weather tough times. Rather, it’s your overall dietary pattern that’s important.  A healthy diet, on the other hand, can give you the energy and focus to tackle the challenges you’re facing.

Search for meaning and purpose of life.  Follow things that really make you happy and satisfied after this search. 

An important part of coping with adversity and making it through tough times is to foster qualities of persistence and endurance. Tough times don’t last forever, but by their very nature they’re rarely over quickly. As you plot a road through the darkness, you need to find ways to stay motivated and persevere.

Deal with your problems one step at a time. If a problem is too big to deal with all at once, try breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps. If your problem seems to have no possible solution, you can still take action by drawing up a list, researching more about the subject, or seeking the advice of a trusted friend or loved one.

Celebrate small wins. To stay motivated and positive as you navigate stormy seas in life, take a moment to savor your small successes. Noting these small wins can give you a welcome break from all the stress and negativity you’re facing and encourage you to keep going.

Try to maintain a hopeful outlook while preparing for the worst. While it’s difficult to stay positive and hopeful in the midst of a crisis, many of us tend to blow our problems out of proportion and make them seem even more negative than they really are. Try taking a step back and examining your situation as an outsider. Are their rays of hope that you can focus on? Instead of worrying about what you fear may happen, try visualizing what you’d do to overcome them if unwanted things happen.

Be kind to yourself. Everyone adjusts to change and upheaval differently. Don’t criticize your coping skills or beat yourself up for every mistake you make. Instead plan how to do things that can improve the situation.

You are there to guide your children in handling the crisis. 

I think your husband is right. Listen to him. Take his help. Try to grasp the techniques of coping with the situation from him. As a single family unit, by helping one another,  I am certain that you can overcome all the difficulties with good effort  .... and when you do that let me know.