SCI-ART LAB

Science, Art, Litt, Science based Art & Science Communication

Q: A person is stalking me. How can I get rid of him?
Krishna: Different situations and different people demand different strategies.
I can only give advice based on my own experiences. 
I use three game plans.

1. Become a boulder! Just pretend you 're a rock and didn't notice any of the stalker's advances. 
 90% of men/boys give  up soon if you don't respond in any way.  
However, I must tell this extraordinary story too.
One person stalked me for eight years (2years of my PG, 4 years of PhD and 2 years of post doctoral research). He used to follow me daily on his two wheeler from the main road bus stop to our life sciences building of our university which is two furlongs away. Twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. It was a deserted route with a forest-like atmosphere. 
He used to come near me sometimes, say something too. I pretended I never noticed his presence. Never responded in any way. 
How does  a boulder respond to the things happening around it? I was just a stone in his presence. Despite my turning a blind eye, he didn't give up. He stalked me for eight long years following me like a bodyguard.  
When I left the university, he must have given up. But nothing came out of his dedicated following. I wonder why this odd person   followed me for such a long time despite my disregard.

2. Become a spear
Some boys don't give up even if you don't show any interest in them. 8% of men try to proceed further. They come to you and directly express their affection/love. If you are not interested, tell them that straight-forwardly.
Don't give any mixed signals. That emboldens them and  they don't leave you. 
Your 'no' should be a very firm and big NO.
One guy cried when I said 'no'. I was shaken a bit. A good man crying before her for her love makes any woman feel a bit bad. But I had a goal. A firm conviction. I didn't want to move even an inch from it. That made me very strong mentally. I didn't waver. 
We are still good friends as the guy understood me well later although he felt bitter initially. I thank him for that.
But some men become very angry and try to take revenge. About 2% of men come in this category. That is where you should be careful and 

3. Become a tigress. Fight fiercely. Rip them apart. Take the help of friends, elders and the police, if needed.  
This is where I want to mention a  story where I even got death threats.  
I make friends only with good people, not with Royals or Billionaires. Some of them are really dangerous. Like this Hollywood producer, I don't want to mention his name - he threatened to kill me if I didn't become his girlfriend! He was a Hollywood producer of films (with some members of Royal families as his friends ) and a millionaire and nephew of a President of a country but not good! I didn't know he was like that in the beginning. He told me he would buy my artwork as he liked it very much. Then slowly he told me he would help me in selling my work and also said he would launch me on a big scale in the art world. He joined one of my networks.Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was old about sixty years old - I treated him like my father - when I told him this he got angry and threatened to kill me by sending hit squads to India! 
I told this to our common friends. They warned him to back off.
He backed off but had a grudge against me till his dying day. Yes, he died of a drug overdose six months after this incident happened.  I still have his messages and mails in my in box as proof.
I didn't get frightened  despite his death threats. I learnt a lot from this experience. 

What does this tell you? You have to be very strong as a girl/woman. 
To deal with so many stalkers, suiters, friends, classmates, colleagues and everybody who shows unwanted interest in you. 
That might act as a distraction from your education and other goals. It is a part of life. Face it, need I add the word 'courageously' here? 
I hope girls like you could learn something from my experiences and that is why I told these stories.

Q: Why do we lose confidence in ourselves when we get old?
Krishna: Confidence in what?
You gain more confidence in your cognitive abilities as you get old. This is because You gain more knowledge and experience.
Yes, you might lose some confidence  when physical abilities are involved. 
This is because you won't be as strong physically as you were young. Moreover, several health issues take their toll on your confidence.
Your children might leave you  and go in search of greener pastures. When your family breaks up and when there is no one to support you emotionally, your confidence wavers. 
That is why in old age several people go the religious way frequently to get some sort of emotional support from "GOD".

Q: Why do you give replies to general topics too?
Krishna: When people need me and my help, how can I say 'no'?  
They approach me because they got connected to me in an emotional way. They see me 'as their own person', feel I am one amongst them. 
This attitude of these people helps me in my science communication too! :)
This is what art world taught me. To get 'connected to' people to succeed.

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