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How to overcome your fear of flying

by Dr. Krishna Kumari Challa

Jun 16

Q: Dr. Krishna, I am a frequent flier. All these days I didn't  feel fear but after the Air India crash, I don't feel like flying again. How can  I get rid of my fear?

Krishna: I can fully understand your situation. Aerophobia is a common fear. But when something like this happens even a normally courageous person gets bothered. To come out of this phobia, I can tell you to watch these videos:

 

Well that was an assurance from a pilot. 

Then there are stats of airplane safety which say 

Flying is statistically very safe, with the risk of a fatal accident being extremely low. Modern aviation safety is a result of continuous improvements in technology, regulation, and operational procedures. While recent events may cause anxiety, the overall trend in aviation safety has been one of significant improvement, with fatality rates decreasing dramatically over the past few decades. 
  • Low Fatality Risk:
    The fatality risk per passenger boarding is incredibly low. A study from MIT found that it's about 1 per 13.7 million boardings. 
  • Decreasing Accident Rates:
    The number of fatal accidents per million flights has decreased significantly over time. IATA reported that the all-accident rate was 1.13 per million flights in 2024, better than the five-year average. 
  • Long-Term Improvement:
    The five-year average accident rate per million sectors has decreased from 2.20 (2011-2015) to 1.25 (2020-2024), according to IATA. 
  • Technological Advancements:
    Modern aircraft have advanced safety features and monitoring systems that help detect and prevent potential issues. 
  • Stringent Regulations and Training:
    Pilots and other aviation personnel undergo rigorous training and adhere to strict regulations to ensure safety. 
While accidents are a serious matter, and every fatality is one too many, the overall picture of aviation safety is one of continuous improvement and low risk. 

However, as a  person of science I have another view on this. It is easy to say these things and get assurances. But still if you watch a plane falling from the sky  and exploding like a bomb, that visual sticks to your mind more effectively than these assurances. 

Moreover, nothing is in your control when you are in a plane. You are in an  enclosed space where your safety is in somebody else's hands or something else's working conditions you know nothing about.

The fight-or-flight response is the body's automatic, physiological reaction to an acute threat or stress, preparing it to either confront the danger (fight) or escape it (flight). This response involves the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of stress hormones, leading to physical changes like increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and heightened senses. 

Key aspects of the fight-or-flight response:
Activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System:This system is part of the autonomic nervous system, responsible for involuntary bodily functions. When activated, it triggers a cascade of physiological changes. 
Hormonal Release:The body releases stress hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol, which play a crucial role in preparing the body for action. 
Physiological Changes: 
Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure: To deliver oxygen and nutrients to muscles more efficiently. 
Rapid Breathing: To increase oxygen intake. 
Muscle Tension: Preparing for physical exertion. 
Heightened Senses: To better perceive the threat.Increased Blood Flow to Muscles: Diverting blood away from non-essential functions like digestion. 
Release of Glucose: For energy production. 
Survival Mechanism: The fight-or-flight response is an evolutionary adaptation that helps humans and animals react quickly to dangerous situations, ensuring survival. 

Example: If a person is walking alone and hears a sudden, loud noise, their body might immediately trigger the fight-or-flight response. They might feel their heart pounding, their breathing quicken, and their muscles tense. They might instinctively freeze, assess the situation (fight), or turn to run (flight). 
In summary, the fight-or-flight response is a powerful, automatic reaction that prepares the body to deal with perceived threats, ensuring survival by mobilizing physical and mental resources. 

But you can't fight anything except your fears in a plane. Flight? To where when something unusual happens in that enclosed space and at that height? That helplessness makes you more frightened.
By watching these videos of the pilot or going through the stats of safety   you simply can't overcome your fear created by a dramatic visual or the situation you are in. It is extremely difficult to overcome your biology. 
You would get into the argument like, "Okay, the stats  say these are rare events. One in several millions. But what if it happens to me? My plane? Will my body blow up .... like it happened to the people who were in that ill-fated Air India flight? Why should I take this risk by flying?" 
That is the mood your mind gets into.  It is an evolutionary survival mechanism. 
 
And, I know, when it is the question of survival, it takes  tremendous effort to overcome it after watching dramatic scenes of a plane crash when they are all over the media.

 
So first stop watching those on all media. Just stop it. Out of sight, out of mind. Pure and simple.
 
(But strangely, I can't do that. because so many people ask me so many questions that I will have to watch all that 'fearful stuff' to answer them! You don't know this: I watched some extremely "Nerve-wrenching" videos of this incident people sent me. I thought I would go mad, mad or not, I felt immensely sad. But I came out of that with my critical thinking very soon.
But like I always have been saying, death is inevitable. All living beings have to die one day or the other. That is a must! You have no other choice! And there will be a  cause. Accept yours with dignity like a stoic. That surrender removes your fear).

Then analyse your situation thoroughly. All the problems and situations you might encounter. Try to tackle the situations and solve the problems in your imagination. Like, for example,  encountering  turbulence. Imagine following all the instructions of the crew members thoroughly and overcoming it. You feel relieved. Preparing for all types of situations makes you more confident and removes your nervousness to a great extent. You know what you might encounter on your way, you know how to handle the situation or how to avoid it. This thorough preparation makes the thought of a failure or getting hurt go out of your mind to a large extent. That takes your mind to a comfortable zone.

Then there will be several unknown factors that bother you too. Like pilots' errors. Technical faults that commanders can't control. Yes, some situations won't be in your hands to command and control. 
Pilots will be under tremendous pressure because they fly for several years, day in and  day out. But still they cope with all the unknown parameters that they could encounter. Still they fly anyway by preparing themselves well both mentally and physically. 

Tell yourself, over and over again, you have done everything to get the situation under your control. But still if an unexpected situation arises, imagine yourself doing these things: 
When facing situations beyond your control, focus on what you can control, such as your reactions and responses. Practice acceptance, manage your mindset, and engage in stress-reducing activities. Prioritize self-care, acknowledge your feelings, and seek support when needed. 
This is how you can do it: 
1. Identify What You Can Control: Recognize that while external events are often uncontrollable, your thoughts, feelings, and actions are within your sphere of influence. Focus on what you can do, such as creating a plan, adjusting your perspective, or seeking help. 
2. Practice Acceptance: Accept that some things are simply beyond your power to change. Shift your focus from resisting what you cannot control to finding ways to adapt and cope. Cultivate a sense of peace by acknowledging that you are doing your best in the situation. 
3. Manage Your Mindset: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment. Reframe the situation to find a more positive or constructive perspective.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in activities that reduce stress and promote well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. Seek relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation. Connect with loved ones and nurture your relationships and speak with them to calm down.
5. Seek Support: Talk to friends that could help, family, or a therapist about your feelings and concerns. Seek professional guidance if you're struggling to cope. Consider joining support groups or online forums for shared experiences.
6. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise from the situation, whether it's frustration, sadness, or anxiety. Don't suppress your feelings; acknowledge them and find healthy ways to process them.
7. Focus on Influence, Not Control: Recognize that you may not be able to control the outcome, but you can influence the situation through your actions and choices. Take proactive steps within your power to manage the situation effectively.

And let me ask you a final question. Is any place safe in this physical world? What if a terrorist plants a bomb in the  train or bus you are about to travel. What if the housewife residing next to your flat forgets to switch off the cooking gas regulator while going to her negative place and the gas leaks and explodes when somebody switches on an electrical gadget? Are these things in your control? Can you avoid them despite taking all the precautions? 

What about the people who were in the medical college hostel mess on which this plane fell? They were not flying. They were on the ground but still got entangled in this tragedy and some even lost their lives.

That is life. Very uncertain and depends on several unknown factors. If you try to think and imagine all those things and situations, you can never live or think properly and can never be happy and relieved.

When you have a life, death is inevitable because of some cause. But how you overcome that evolutionary biological fear and fact and live your life relatively safely and realistically makes you  stoic. Courage is not having fear, but overcoming it successfully to lead a good life.

Between birth and death there is life to live. Fear is an emotion designed by evolution to protect individuals from danger and threats. It should serve only that purpose. It shouldn't get out of control and stop you from living a good and comfortable  life by  arresting other aspects of your life. That is where control of your mind comes and helps you. Follow that route.  

By focusing on these strategies, you can better navigate challenging situations and find a sense of peace and empowerment even when things are outside of your control. 
Wait for sometime after this. Your fear fades as time goes by. Don't worry.

Then take a small trip and then increase your time on airplanes. You will be alright.

Q: What happens to my family and world when I die?
Krishna: Life goes on! You take insurance and do all that you can to make them live comfortably and safely.
In the big scheme of things, the universe doesn't care which group of atoms is taking birth or which ones are dying. 
It is only the close relatives and friends who are emotionally attached to you or dependent on you that feel  lots of sadness and vacuum because of loss of love, affection, comfort  and support. It is a localized phenomenon. It doesn't mean anything  in the universe's language if I die. 
Millions of lives come into existence and millions go out of existence every single moment. 
The universe is rock solid and like a stoic, unmoved and unfazed.
Be like that.