Q: I married my boyfriend. But after the marriage he says he cannot change his irritating ways. He turned out to be very short-tempered and argumentative. My mother-in-law says  I should love a man as he is and should not expect him to compromise on certain things and expect him to change at this stage. 

Then should I compromise on my peace of mind? Should I accept his quarrelling nature and suffer as a result? 

Now I regret marrying him. What should I do now? I am very stressed and highly confused.

Krishna: A good marriage works well only if both people try to understand each others' concerns and try to adjust and adapt. Asking only one person to compromise leads to your type of situation. 

Your husband too has a responsibility towards the marriage. If he refuses to correct his irritating ways, it means he is not willing to work on his behaviour. 

Now that you are already married to him, he thinks he  can easily avoid the hard part.  

He might have covered his bad behaviour while dating you. That is why you are more distressed now after finding out about his true nature.

Do all relationships count towards boosting your longevity? Not quite. In fact, researchers ask you to cut out problematic relationships – or at least to gracefully deprioritise them.

This can be easier said than done because we tend to pay more mental attention to stressful relationships.

But if you want to lower your biological age, this is one bad habit worth breaking.

In February 2026, a study from the US found that negative social ties with people who add stress to our lives literally age both our minds and bodies.

According to the researchers, 30 per cent of us have ‘hasslers’ in our lives – people who create problems and generally make life more difficult.  Hasslers can cause chronic stress, which in turn breeds inflammation and makes it harder to make healthy lifestyle choices. These relationships were even associated with a higher risk of multimorbidity (having at least two long-term health conditions).

If we have more than one hassler in our circles, the ill-effects are cumulative – with each one speeding up biological ageing by 1.5 per cent (adding around nine months to your age).

Your husband can try and control himself now too if he really loves you and wants you to be happy. But he is not even attempting it and asking you to put up with it.

He undoubtedly needs counselling.

Take him to trained coaches.

You can search on line to get the contact details of the counsellors.

But first you have to convince your husband to consult the counselling specialists. Hope you can do that.